A few weeks ago, my dating life changed completely. I met two lovely ladies. Both are people I have been on a few dates with and I genuinely enjoy their company. They fit in my schedule and i like that. If I could take half of one and half of the other, i would have the most amazing girlfriend one could ever wish for.
Heather: She is charming and kind. We’ve shared lovely conversations about music. She is a kid at heart but physically, she isn’t my type.
Christine: She is such a little doll. She is a psychiatrist, a dog lover, a west coast gal and a lover of the arts. She works at the same hospital where my dad is chief of psychiatry. Did you guys put two and two together yet? This is not going to work out well. But Lord have mercy!!!
A few days after I met these women, a new hire sat across from me and I fell in love right then and there; Sparks flew, fireworks illuminated my sky, barefoot hippies singing love tunes and cherubs bouncing on rainbows. I. Fell. In. Love.
I charmed her and I worked really hard at it too. I greased up those rusty lines from my early days and fine-tuned my delivery – I hoped for Charlize Theron but I sounded like a frog that swallowed its own tongue.
The boys around the office placed bets on how fast she would fall for my rusty lines. It took TWO long exciting weeks. Last Friday evening on my way out, she grabbed me in the elevator and asked me to join her at a fashion party on the Lower East Side next week.
That same Friday evening, I met Christine for drinks in Chelsea at a random bar on 8th avenue. While we were sipping our drinks, I noticed a lady who was eyeing me since I fought the sorority girl for my bar stool. The lovely lady is a woman I’ve seen in my building and I had a little crush on her for months. Weeks ago, I stopped seeing her in the lobby; I figured she left the company. So there I was at a bar that I had never been to and I was on a date with a great woman and the lady I had a crush on for months was staring at me from across the bar.
Her name is Lauren.
Christine excused herself and went to the bathroom. Lauren was walking out the door when I grabbed her arm and pulled her so close to me that I could feel her heart beat faster than a hungry cheetah but she had moves, my friends, she .had. moves. She pulled out her business card faster than I had time to say the “H” in “hi”. A second later, Christine returned. I introduced them and waved goodbye to Lauren. An hour or so later, I said my goodbyes to Christine and while I was walking to my car, I texted Lauren:
“Where are you”